Old friends

I had dinner with Janie and Akshay last night. got me thinking about my group of friends. I have a small, eclectic group of friends… perfect to fit my flowing personality. Janie and Akshay were roommates my sophomore year. Akshay was doing his masters in ME and Janie was a sophomore like me. Marlon, who was a Jamaican dancer doing his masters, was living with them too. It was a bizarre living situation for me… a girl and two guys! So absolutely improper! I am amazed at how much I’ve changed because of the friends I have. I realized, for one thing, that there can be a friendship between a guy and a girl, but absolutely no sexual tension. They were simply three good friends living together, and there was such a welcoming, friendly environment in that apartment that I ended up spending most of my free time (and my study time) there. I was the unofficial fourth roommate. Ah, the good times. We had such a great time making fun of each other, being silly, eating (without a single exception, all my great friends have discovered the mysterious joy of feeding me) having great eye-opening religious conversations… simply spending time together. it was great.

So we had dinner last night. and we were in a completely different setting. Akshay is here only till the 28th, and will soon go off to work.. to God-only knows how many places. Akshay and Marlon have both graduated… so I hadn’t seen Akshay in a very long time… a year?? Marlon is teaching in a university in Jamaica… so he wasn’t there. So Akshay was a different person, a lot skinnier, a little less shy (oh gosh! He was NOT shy at ALL)… Marlon’s dry humor was altogether absent … and the three of us were eating OUT –not in their apartment, not in my A-Psi house, not at SMU—and Janie hasn’t lived near me for a looong time, so we don’t spend as much time together any more (and we’re both in serious relationships) and so everything had changed… but nothing had changed. oh gosh… absolutely nothing. We had a blast, we talked about silly and serious things… we even got a mingled speech from Akshay on greencards and the restrictions of time and work and stress on personal relationships (yes, this was Akshay talking about his personal life!)

… AND JANIE IS GETTING MARRIED!!! GOOD LORD… SHE’S GETTING MARRIED!!!

She said she wouldn’t have a wedding, so I thought that meant she wasn’t gonna get married soon… but no… she is. After graduation… Janie is such an amazing person. she’s managed to live exactly the way she wanted to. She’s the kind of person who doesn’t care what others say. she cares about what’s right and what’s not. Simple enough. She’s the one that took that homeless kid in and took care of him and did all she could, even when it meant sacrificing her so treasured personal security… that’s the kind of person she is. And she’s almost married already… but there’s that traditional part of me that can’t help but think that marriage is a pact, and that even though implicit pacts are beautiful and mysterious, there is strength in the boldness of making the pact explicit, definite… and I think she knows that. that’s why it takes us both so much to say things like “I love you.” such words have much more meaning to us than they might have to other people… they are explicit feelings that we save for the special few… the very few.

And so I think back on my friendships.. the kind of people that I befriend… Philippino, Indian, Jamaican, American, Guatemalean, Mexican-American, Macedionian… gay, bi, straight, inactive… hard-core Xan, non-practicing Christians, Hindu, how was that? Buddhistian? Business, Psychology, ME majors, Education Majors, dancers, Econ, history, languages, philosophy…
What do we all have in common? We love life. And in our own different ways, we love God, and we love our families and our friends, and we all know what we want, even if we don’t know how or when we’re getting there… and we give a damn about what’s going on… my friends all care about school, about their careers, about being better people, about helping others out… we love each other too… lol… even if we don’t always say it. and I am just so happy, thinking of all of this… realizing that I have friends. Great friends.

I am such a fortunate person..