Dance it all away...

Exactly what I did last Friday... I just danced it all away. I had such a great time! I needed it, after all the stress of talking with the bar manager, and getting the sercurity people to ID the twenty people that were waiting to come in... after all the papers from last week, two consecutive all-nighters, a boy-reality check, my car breaking down (again), a "faith crisis" (as Sarah so kindly called it), and a terrible argument with my father... yes, I NEEDED to dance. Alpha Psi Lambda Party @ Little Havana... most of my great friends, my frat brothers and sisters, and lots of faces I hadn't seen in a year. God, I missed the good times!

My friend Janie has taken in a 17 yr-old homeless boy. That amazing, crazy girl decided it wasn't fair for a hard-working kid to be kicked out of his foster home solely on the ground of religious disagreement. She took him in. It is because of people like her that I still feel somewhat connected to the world. My friends. And the people worth admiring. People who care. I found the strangest question on a Facebook page. It quotes: "I wish SMU had more people like that...I'm like where are the people that don't give a shit." To an extent, I'm a little jealous. The boy has it pretty easy... there's lots of them laid-back people, everywhere. I think that letting go and deciding you simply don't care anymore is much simpler than straightout dealing with a problem, much easier than deciding you do care and fighting what you don't like. There's not enough people who care. Not enough people willing to give of their time, and effort, and even emotional sanity, for the sake of someone else, or for the sake of doing something about it when you know there's something wrong. Janie is one of them. She's doing something about it. She is strong enough to care.

So I'm like, where are the people who do care? I had stopped caring too. Need to get back on track... where did my life's structure go? where's the strong, self-sufficient, hard-minded girl? Silly thing fell for the wrong guy, twice, and started rationalizing. Good thing he stepped back. Of all things, I never thought I'd have ridiculous problems like this one. I don't date, I don't mess around with people. I stay away... or I did. Three years of drama-free college life. Purely academic problems, nothing but friends and family. And then this. I have to be more careful. Perhaps staying away wasn't such a bad idea.

So this next week/end is it. I'm facing the problem... college will be over soon, gotta start making some choices. I'm sitting down and doing research and applying for grad-schools (and scholarships) and jobs. Might have to get a grant. Might teach and save, then go back to school. I had considered going back home for a semester. I feel it's such a coward idea, but I miss my family terribly....

I think this Friday I'm gonna cook it all away : )